Help me please. im miserable. what do i do?

i met a 21 year old in my neighborhood when i was fundraising for my basketball team. we started sneaking out together and hooking up. i found out i was pregnant and we were both happy about it. i then found out that since im 14, he could get in trouble, so i had an abortion when i was almost 16 weeks. it seemed like a good idea, but now im aching and i cry everytime i see little babies. im 15 now, this happened like 3 months ago. the baby would have been due july 10. i cant do this anymore. i thought it was good because he wouldnt get in trouble and i could keep playing basketball but i want my baby so bad. when my dad found out, he took the police to montes house and now i cant ever see or talk to him again! i didnt get to say sorry or good bye. now both of our lives are ruined and our sons never started. im so miserable. i signed up to work in the nursery at church to calm myself down about wanting a baby but it doesnt help! please help me. idk what to do. i loved monte and im pretty sure he loved me.